Joshua And Jack Ng

Joshua and Jack Ng
29th March 2008

My husband and I had been trying for our second baby in October 2008. I fell pregnant pretty quickly and got a positive test straight away. It wasn't till my 7 week scan that I found out I was expecting twins. My world had suddenly changed, I was happy, scared and shocked.
How the hell was I going to cope was running through my mind. I left the hospital numb and decided to ring my husband with the news. He laughed nervously but was pretty happy to learn the good news.

Then at the 12 week scan I found out that my twins were identical and I needed to be rescanned at 16 weeks as both babies shared the same placenta. At my 16 week scan I was told that there was a size difference between the two and also news that the babies were boys. At 17 weeks I needed laser surgery as my twins had started to develop something called Twin To Twin Transfusion Syndrome. My world suddenly fell apart, I was told if I did not have the surgery both twins would died. My husband and I had no choice and wanted to do the best for our babies, so we went ahead and had the surgery the next day.

Soon after the surgery I started to feel them move more and a week after the surgery, the scans showed that there was an improvement. I was able to relax again and enjoy the pregnancy. Three weeks later the smaller twin suddenly started to get worse. The doctors told me that the smaller twin was not going to make it and could die before birth. I was devastated but needed to keep my hopes up for the bigger twin, I wanted to come out of this pregnancy with at least one baby.

At 23 weeks I started to feel very uncomfortable and started having pains in my abdomen, like constant contraction pains. It was so bad I blacked out on the toilet and decided to call an ambulance. I was rushed into the hospital, where they did an internal examination on me. I wasn't dilating so they put it all down to constipation and decided to keep me in just in case as I was still in a lot of pain.

Two days later I was having a shower but still feeling very faint and standing was exhausting. I waited for my consultant and when she finally arrived I felt a sharp pain in my back and I could feel liquid coming out of me. I screamed out loud and look down, I was bleeding. After that I could just remember doctors and nurses rushing towards me with needles and things. At that moment I knew I was losing my babies and there was nothing I could do. I started sobbing to my consultant who did a quick scan on me and showed me the heartbeats of both babies but they didn't seem to be moving so much. She explained to me that I was probably having an abruption and depending on the bleeding, I could still make it. I could hear my husband in the hallway with my son, as he open the hospital curtain, I can never forget the look on his face...from totally happiness to complete horror.

An hour later I continued to bleed more and was rushed to the labour ward, my sister in law came and collected my son, I really did not want him to see what was about to happen.

They had taken some blood test from me and it showed that I had lost about 4 pints of blood which was sitting behind the placenta wall. The doctor on call informed me that I had to be induced or I was going to die. I had no choice and of course being 23 weeks there was no chance my babies would survive. The birth was horrific, there was blood everywhere, I was sick and I had no pain relief as I had bleed to much for an epidurual.

At 6.30am 29th March Joshua the bigger twin was born, he was 1lb 4oz, small but still had chubby cheeks. He didn't scream or move, I sobbed as they took him away. Then at 7am Jack was born, he was half the size of Joshua but still very perfect in every way. I spent the next three days in hospital having blood transfusion as I had lost a total of 6 and half pints of blood.

We spent those precious days with them, holding and kissing them. I can't believe they are gone. We will never forget them and they will always be in our hearts. Now my life will never be the same, my arms ache still to hold them...I miss them so much.